I have always been pretty good at rolling with the punches and pushing all my feelings aside to please others, but now I realize I have to come up with another coping mechanism before I explode. I know that life is not always fair and tragedy touches the majority of us at one point and time in our lives, but I realize I haven't allowed myself the time to digest the tragedy before I am moving on and pretending that all is well when it isn't.
I do know that there are so many who are suffering as I write this and I feel like I am being selfish for focusing on my pain but I realize I have to address it and work my way through. If I don't I know I won't get anywhere near HIGHER GROUND.
I think about what should be and is not and my heart aches, but I must find the strength to move on, but I ask myself what am I moving on too. I am tired of being in the same spot. I know I have to seek so I can find.
LORD HELP ME I AM DROWNING.